Since I have observed that people need blog friends to make it here in this bloggy world, I will attempt this month to fit in. Although, I will not be trying to fit in with the Mormafia yet
(so many cute little Mormon bloggers everywhere!)
because I'm just nowhere near cute enough for them. Yet.
Or probably ever.
Also, this might help me to get started writing regularly without having to rack my brain for topics. And it might extend the amount of time before I just start writing about the weird part of the internet, or even worse, the weird part of my brain. It's a strange place in there.
Katrina over at 'Sota is Sexy was one of the first bloggers I read consistently, but don't tell her that because she doesn't know me from a cashier at her local Target. Ok, that probably isn't true because like all sane individuals she seems to love Target, so she would realize I didn't work there. And maybe she would like that I read her blog anonymously. I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out the rules for all this.
Anyway, Katrina now lives in small town Minnesota, which is a wonderful state where wonderful people such as myself were born and raised. I didn't live in a small town, I came from the Twin Cities, but my grandpa sure lives outside a small town in northern Minnesota and I love it there. So, since we have that in common, and we both love our dogs and Target, that means we should be best friends, right? Right.
Day One: New!
This is day one of 2013.
I know it is just another Tuesday in the grand scheme of things, but people love the idea
of fresh starts,
of leaving the past behind,
of brand new days, months, years.
I've never been one for New Year's resolutions.
I truly don't think that I have ever written down a resolution before. So that makes sense that my first attempt should be publicized on the internet for all of eternity, don't you think?
Alright, no. That makes no sense at all.
But that's the way my life has been going. Off the rails, making no sense, and not where I want it at all.
2013 will be the year where I take my life back. I will stop just floating along in a daze and I will take control.
Stop being scared.
I used to be such a fearless little kid. I was scared of nothing. My sister and I once went out across a field to investigate a bear. A bear. A seriously full grown bear. But we had a stick and a frisbee, so we were good. I want to be like that again. I want to trust in myself like I did before the world kicked me down. And before I allowed myself to stay down.
I know the strength to do this is in me, I know that it is actually a great attribute of mine, I just need to grab the horse by the reins and chase down the bears again. Probably not literally this time.
I know, I know, how stereotypical. But truthfully, I don't look like myself, I don't feel like myself, I don't like this version of me. So I will change it from the inside out. I want to be me again. And we can even say it's for my health, because it partially is. I might even blog about some of my workout successes and fails, and I absolutely will blog about food. I love food. But darnit, that's part of what made this a necessary resolution.
Keep moving forward.
This year I have been so stagnant. I haven't made near enough moves to make my life better because I really have just been floating. I have been getting by with the least effort I can and I am ashamed of that. I haven't been in a good place in my own head and that translated into just.... hovering. So this year I will make moves and take steps to get my life back on track, and hopefully even get things moving back toward the grand life goals.
Try to accept that I still live in Nebraska.
Nebraska is not where I belong. I am not happy here, I don't fit in here, I don't thrive here. The last five years since I have lived here have sucked the sparkle and shine right out of me. But it needs to be the layover place for just a little bit longer. I have realistic dreams and plans to live somewhere bigger, more urban, more open minded, and more fantastic, but they have to wait just a little longer while I get myself together.
I'm done with boring. I'm ready for so much more.